I have to figure out who I am, I have to find myself
by GinevraJanePotter
Summary: A side one-shot of my story, The Volturi Princess of Vampires. The fight between Isabella and her father, Aro, when she expresses her desire to leave Volturi.


'Father,' I said, approaching him cautiously where he was sitting, alone for once, in the throne room musing.

'Daughter,' his face lit up as he spoke and turned to look at me, causing a soft smile to grace my lips in return as I curtsied slightly in greeting. 'What brings you in here? I though you were out hunting.'

'I just got back,' I replied brightly, allowing time to drag a bit with meaningless conversation before I told him my news, news that I'm not sure how he will take. 'I thought I'd come see my delightful Father before I began my duties.'

I wrinkled my nose up slightly at the thought of the jobs that I had been putting off and at what I had just said. I was buttering him up with words like "delightful" and no doubt he knew it, however, he made no comment about it.

'I hope you haven't been putting it of, daughter,' he frowned in a stern voice. 'As a princess that would be frowned upon.'

'By who?' I asked, ignoring his first sentence and questioning the second - I couldn't lie to save my life.

'The people of which you rule over,' Father replied, with a twitch of his lips. 'Have you been putting it off.'

'No,' I said but it sounded unconvincing even to me.

'Well, go do it them,' he replied, although he didn't look particularly angry or annoyed, however, this was not the way I wanted this part of the conversation to go.

I had hoped to have him in a good mood, a jovial one, but it seems someone else had gotten on his nerves today and saying I was putting of my duties was not improving his mood in the slightest.

'What's worrying you, child?' my father asked, breaking through my thoughts.

'Father,' I said, in a business like voice before pausing not knowing what to say as his eyebrows rose at my tone.

I liked my lips, taking a deep breath and, without really meaning to, blurted out the words I was trying to say, 'Father I wish to leave.'

I cringed preparing myself for a onslaughter of yelling as my Father's eyebrows rose even further up his forehead before pulling back done to frown.

'Pardon, daughter?' he asked, although I could hear anger brewing under his tone. 'I must have misheard.'

'I doubt it,' I spoke trying to swallow the lump in my throat before saying slowly. 'I wish to leave this city.' - As soon as those words were spoken more just came tumbling out at fast pace. - 'I want to see what's out there, to see the world. The world outside the castle has always been forbidden to me! I want to see why!'

'Because of dangers!' My father yelled over my frantic voice. 'Dangers you can't understand.'

'Because you've kept me in here,' I replied sharply before I could help myself and I could foresee a large argument here.

'For your safety,' Father growled before trying, and failing, to sound calmer, to will me back to "sanity". 'This is your home -'

'It's a prison,' I interrupted. 'It's a prison that I've been forced to stay in - all you need now is a dragon to guard my tower bedroom.'

Father rolled his eyes in an annoyed fashion, 'your rooms not in a tower.'

'Yeah, well that's just the next step,' I said, narrowing my eyes. 'I'm leaving, Father -'

'You are not,' he snapped cutting me off. 'You have responsibilities here and you shall do as is expected of you to help me and your uncles to rule the vampires.'

'How can I rule people I've never meant?' I screeched. 'How can I know what they need if I haven't seen the way the majority lives?'

'Isabella,' my father said, sharply. 'You are staying here, end of discussion.'

'This wasn't a discussion,' I snapped as he went to leave. 'This was me _telling_ you I'm leaving; I was _not _asking for your permission.'

My father spun back around angrily, frowning down at me, ' If I say that you are not to leave this castle's grounds, then you shall not.'

'You can't stop me doing I want,' I growled. 'I am not one of the guard, I'm your of age daughter (considering I'm centuries old), you're not in charge of me.'

'I forbid you to leave this City,' my father nearly snarled, staring me in such anger I wanted to go hide, but I held firm, staring into his red eyes with golden one's just as angrily, as well as defiantly.

As we stared a part of my brain couldn't help but notice how different we looked: my father's black hair was different from my mahogany brown hair that I inherited from my mother; his eyes were red from drinking humans while mine where golden from animals - a thought passed through my head wondering whether our eyes would be the same colour, had we both been human - and his face was angular while mine was softer, heart-shaped.

'This is all you Uncle Carlisle's fault,' he suddenly growled, breaking our eye contact.

'How so?' I screamed, I loved my Uncle Carlisle the most after my father and I would not allow him to be dragged into this.

'Him! Trust me it's all him,' he father glared. 'I knew it was going to come back to bite me not raising you myself. You're too much like him, drinking animals' - he spat it like it was a rather disgusting thing - 'and now he's got you leaving-'

'This was my decision,' I yelled over him, 'a decision I made _alone_, on _my_ desires.'

'There's nothing out there!' Father shouted angrily. 'Nothing you don't have here.'

'Then why hasn't Uncle Carlisle returned then?' I asked, making it my turn to glare and scold myself for bringing my uncle back into this. 'And all the other members of the guard that leave and never return? Why, if there's nothing out there, have they never came back?'

My father frowned angrily at me but I knew I had stumped him with this particular point and it caused me to feel a wave of satisfaction come over me before my father changed tactics.

'You know no one out there!' he growled, despite being between on one point he was still extremely angry that I, his only child, wanted to leave. 'You'll be alone out there.'

'This isn't about finding people out there,' I yelled exasperated, turning my back on him. 'It's about finding who I am, what I want to do, what I want to have: it's about figuring _me_ out and finding what's out there. There's a whole, world out there I've never seen, and if I stay here, I never will.'

'This is you're home!' my father shouted at me. 'As long as you live you are the princess, _that's_ who you are.'

'No, that's my tittle,' I cried out. 'I will _not _allow myself to be defined by _what _I am.'

Before my father could say another word, I stormed out the room and past the few guards who were standing outside that door.

The next day, I was gone.

_I __have __to figure out who I am, I __have__ to find myself._

_Isabella Maria Volturi_


End file.
